Let’s just add this one to the file marked, “Amazing Parenting Moments in the Life of Sarah.”
It was Easter. This is a pretty big holiday in our house. Maybe the biggest one.
I don’t make a huge deal out of the Easter bunny, not wanting the kids to get too distracted by the fluff and never learn what the purpose of this day is in our own belief system. Plus, dare I admit it- I really hate the idea of candy for breakfast. Who invented the chocolate breakfast followed by church idea anyway? A bachelor uncle?
Still, I feel like I should do something for the kiddos. Don’t want them to be the only ones waking up to… nothing, on Easter Sunday.
Alas, I forgot.
Saturday evening at 8pm I realize with a panic.
I tell the husband- “I’ve got to go! I forgot about Easter!”
He stifles a laugh as I dash out the door. It is not his responsibility to remember stuff like this. He loses not a second of sleep over it.
Moving on. We’re not going to talk about this. Not right now.
First stop, the grocery store.
They are pretty much cleaned out. Oops.
Am I surrounded by a plethora of planners or what? Surely I’m not the biggest slacker in my entire town? It’s NorCal for goodness sake! Everyone seems pretty laid back. Possibly stoned. Apparently not in the Easter planning department.
Next stop- the dollar store.
Because what’s better than some questionable, one use petroleum products to celebrate the biggest Christian holiday of all time?
The dollar store has four half broken baskets on the shelf.
Hmmm… Things are looking grim.
I exit the dollar store with nothing. I look a little like I was casing the joint, but never mind. I didn’t steal from the dollar store. I’m pretty sure people don’t do that.
Next stop- another grocery store. I’ve decided to start a tradition, 13 years into parenting, where we have an Easter breakfast of waffles and whipped cream and fruit. Sounds great.
Wait- I don’t have a waffle maker. I don’t even WANT a waffle maker. Have you ever tried to clean one of those?
Again, an item invented by a bachelor uncle, only this time he lives with his mother and she does all the dishes. She particularly enjoys cleaning appliances that cannot be submerged in water. Her favorite is if they have small crevices that require a toothpick and a toothbrush to clean properly. She wanted to be a dental hygienist, but it didn’t work out.
Thus arose the invention of the electric waffle maker with non-removable waffle plates.
She also enjoys cleaning those mini bundt cake pans that yield the most annoying cupcakes ever.
But back to regular programming.
Despite the fact that this is going to be a special breakfast, it will also include those waffles that you put in the toaster. Cleaning problem SOLVED.
Feeling clever. And a little lazy. I don’t want to make pancakes either.
“Special” breakfast planned and a new tradition started. Of course, I will remember this tradition next year. Not like the other false starts I’ve had. No way!
It’s now about five minutes to 9pm and I’m walking into a craft store. Michael’s, to be exact.
Don’t worry, I’ve got plenty of time. They don’t close till 9.
I wander around feeling the typical craft store feelings: confusion and overwhelm.
They turn the lights off.
I realize that despite the fact that I have four children and have been a parent since 2004, I actually don’t have a single Easter basket.
How did THAT happen?
Ahh… I seem to remember letting my mother take care of this holiday for my own kids. It’s official, I’m still a child. In the Easter department, I behave like a trust-fund brat.
Someone who is helpful, and probably also really wants to GO HOME asks me if she can help me.
Yes, I would like sidewalk chalk.
They have some! It’s even in a cute egg shape. What a freaking awesome idea.
I fill ONE Easter basket (because I’m cheap) with some Easter stuff. Chalk eggs. Bubble things. A ball. Zig fill.
Whew. All I have to do is pay.
My card doesn’t work! Am I out of money? Not today. I’m a slacker who neglected to renew my debit card which expired at midnight on the 31st of March. It’s obviously midnight somewhere because it doesn’t work!
My purse is something of a mess, because of my effort to save receipts for tax purposes.
I can’t find my other card. Luckily I have some cash.
Don’t worry- the next day I found the other card, renewed the old one, and cleaned out my wallet.
I’m pretty much ready to be a life coach.
I’ll tell my life coach clients things about “balance” and “establishing good habits.” Then I’ll talk about the glories of womanhood.
I get home with my ALMOST TOTALLY CANDY FREE single Easter basket for four children.
Despite it all, the kids were pretty thrilled with their bubbles, ball, and chalk. And a few mini chocolate bars.
They also didn’t seem to mind the toasted waffles. That’s what happens when you never make the real ones.
I kept thinking, “What a rookie move!”
Except that a new, rookie, mom would never forget to prepare for a major holiday like I did. New moms totally care. They plan. They think about photo opportunities. They take pictures that involve pretty dresses and flowers at a botanic garden. They post them on social media. They carefully obtain cruelty-free basket items. They do activities that are both safe, fun, and memorable.
No, forgetting Easter isn’t a new mom activity. It’s strictly the realm of the older mom who thinks her kids are pretty independent and forgets that sometimes you have to do fun stuff with them.
I struggle with all the extra stuff.
I guess the kids do know about the importance of Easter in our home and why we celebrate it. But I forget about all the other stuff.