Spring Break + 4 Kids = Something Very Different Than They Show On MTV

I don't actually know this guy (his name is Andew) but I sure didn't want to show you a picture of me eating (ahem) two doughnuts today. And for the record, I am a fan of old fashioned only, so I chose an iced old-fashioned and a maple old-fashioned and they were fabulous.

Do they even HAVE MTV anymore?  Because I seriously don't know.  When I was young it actually had music on it, so that was a long time ago.

Anyway.

Spring break for the kiddos.  Did I mention that it is finally raining here in NorCal where we really need it? This means that even though I have four kids and I can't take them to the park for an entire week, I am not actually allowed to complain about the rain because, as you know, we need it.  (Without rain then people can't grow their dope and then what would happen?  Lots of stressed out Baby Boomers, THAT'S what! And we don't want that. They already hate Costco and crap like that, we wouldn't want them to get really ticked.)

It was a crappy day.  I actually went in my room at one point wasted time on Facebook, such was my desire to escape. Hiding in my room isn't actually my style.  Normally I am so overcome with guilt for being lazy that I don't allow it.  (I am Mormon, so this is kind of a thing we do- feel guilty, work ourselves to death.)

I also at a lot of cookies, two donuts (the guy told me that I should buy one more to make it an even six, and was I supposed to tell him no?!  He said it was a good deal!  Doughnut guys do not lie.) Then I made more cookies.  I also decided that I was sad because I needed more Yerba Mate, so I drank some of that. Obviously I have some kind of chemical imbalance caused by rain, doughnuts and children.  (I had NO IDEA that doughnut was spelled this way. Who says you can't learn stuff from the internet?)

One of the children actually DISLOCATED their elbow.  (I swear this was not my fault.  We were walking down the hallway holding hands and then she started screaming.  I did not yank!  I am a very C- kind of mom but I did not yank.)  The good news was my hubby saved the day because he learned in chiropractic college how to fix that so- that 200,000 we spent on his doctorate degree was totally worth it today.

Back to my day.

I remember in college when I traveled for spring break. Me and a couple girlfriends drove from UNM to the City of Angels (which reminds me of my favorite Chili Peppers song.  You know you are getting up there when the people you listened to in high school are washed up enough to play the Super Bowl)  to go to Disneyland.  We had a good time.  We saw Titanic on the big screen (did I mention that I am old? Yeah, I am.  Leonardo hadn't even finished puberty at that point.  If you don't believe me, then just go watch that movie.  Seriously- low on testosterone.  No offense Leo- you have really filled out in the last 15 years.)

I know I should be writing about important things like the c-section rate or if I don't want to write about those things then I should be taking pictures of myself in full make-up building chicken coops in my backyard after I gave the dog a haircut and unschooled my kids (gently and while respecting their inner spirit).  But I don't do any of those things.  I am busy. Crying in my bed at noon.  Also, I write about c-sections all the time and I am pretty sure you would rather KNOW that somebody out there is a way crappier mom than you.

I actually really love my kids and I want to be a good mom who is sane and makes yummy dinners and doesn't ever say "get it yourself" or "clean that up NOW".  But instead I am this gal and I spend more time hoping they will forget these things that I do than actually planning menus.

To remedy the problem that was this day I am doing some things differently.  1) We are leaving the house. 2) I am going to not eat so many doughnuts and 3) I am out of ideas.

Have a great spring break.

The good news is I won't have embarrassing videos popping up on the internet of me twerking on MTV. The bad news is, I don't think MTV even has dance shows anymore.

Photo credit: dusty_pen / Foter / CC BY-NC