How To Push- Your Official Guide

(Disclaimer- I am not a medical professional.  My only experience is my own.  Feel free to ignore all I say.)

How do you push a baby out?!  Admit it- you wondered how the second stage of labor worked before you had kids.  I remember women talking about how they didn't know how to push before I had children.  So, HOW DO YOU PUSH OUT A BABY?!

As with anything in childbirth there are rules and opinions on this aspect of the birth process.  One side says,

"Push as hard as you can.  We will stand over you with stop watches and yell at you when you don't push hard enough.  Your eyes should hurt." 

The other side says,

"Don't push.  B  R  E  A  T  H  E  your baby down.  Pushing like this is peaceful and like walking on the ocean.  You want the birth to be peaceful, right?"

****

 Here is the "Official Guide to Pushing, 1st Edition" by Mama Birth

You are in labor.  You are pushing your baby out.  Don't worry to much about what other people tell you to do, especially if it was in a book, promises it will be pain free, or if what you read is sure there is only one right way to do this. 

(Here is the revolutionary part.) 

Push when and to what degree your BODY TELLS YOU TO PUSH. 

If the urge is undeniable and strong, then do that.

If it is light and easy, do that. 

If it feels better to push, do that. 

If you feel a burning or the "ring of fire" then listen to that.  That is your body telling you to back off.  (See, you didn't need a book, your body KNEW what you needed.)

If you feel like holding your breath helps, then do that, it can give you more power.  If you feel like breathing it out helps, then do that. 

There is no one way to push a baby out just like there is no one way to handle labor sensations or parent a child. 

A few more pointers:

Remember that to be able to FEEL what your body needs to do you must me able to actually feel your body.  This means being unmedicated so that you are in touch with your bodies needs. 

Remember that the idea of purple or directed pushing (where everybody stares at the monitor and tells you what to do and when to do it) is an invention needed only because most women can't actually feel this part of their labor. 

Remember to push down and out your bottom.  Pushing out your face just gives you burst blood vessels and sore eyes.  (Been there, done that.  Nobody tells you that your actual eye balls can get sore from pushing, but it is true.)

Feel like vocalizing?  Great, but, in my experience, sometimes that vocal power can be better harnessed if rather than letting it escape out your mouth you push it out your bottom and use that power to get your baby out.  This is not true for everybody. 

Frequently asked questions:

What is pushing like?  Do women like it? 

This varies from one woman to the next.  Some love to push.  Sometimes it is painless.  For me, I never want to tell people this, but....... It is - freaking out, tear my head off, excruciating, I am pretty sure I am gonna die, kind of pain.  Thus the screaming and the pushing to get it over with.  

But don't be afraid.  It is different for everybody.  Full disclosure.  

 It looks like it really hurts.  Maybe I should get the drugs so I can't feel it.  

Well- remember that it is often painless but just hard work.  You won't know until you are there.  And remember, that if you can't actually feel- you get stuck with purple, directed pushing.  And also- you can't move.  That makes it hard to do the most athletic part of birth, wouldn't you think?


Not to mention that gravity is a good companion when pushing.  Plus, women who are numbed often push for longer or may need more external assistance.  They will not be aware of what their body is trying to tell them.  Don't think of pain as your enemy, think of it as your bodies way of communicating. 

How long does it take?  In the videos it looks real quick!

BWHAHAHAHAHA!  (Note,  I am not laughing at you personally, just at the perception throughout society that this is a super quick process.  It isn't always.) 

Pushing can take anywhere from a few minutes or less to hours.  I have personally pushed for anywhere from four hours (first baby) to one contraction (fourth baby).   Pushing often, but not always, takes less time with each baby.  I have talked to women who have pushed for as long as six hours and still delivered healthy babies vaginally.  Variation is the key. 

My doctor/midwife says that everybody should push in a certain way (on their back, on their side, in the classic or "C" position).  S/he has been doing this a long time, don't they know the best way to push?

Hmmm.  Do you find it disturbing at all that this person has decided before you are even in labor how you need to push your baby out?  To me this is a big red flag.  This is your birth.  This is your body.  This is also your decision.  Somebody who doesn't get that birth is instinctual and mother led, might not really understand birth, despite their degrees. 

The best rule of thumb, listen to your body.  If for some reason that doesn't work (there are always exceptions) then listen to a skilled and kind care provider.  A good care provider will offer advice when you need it and back off when you don't.

Listen to your body. 

The End

I keep trying to write books about birth but they end up being super short, because it is actually pretty simple.  LISTEN TO YOUR BODY.

This is why I am not rich and people who can write 300 pages about this, are.