"I'm Getting One of Those NATURAL C-Sections"

Just when I thought I had heard it all, somebody comes up with the idea of a "natural cesarean."

Yes, I realize that some women do NEED cesarean birth, and yes I realize that should it be needed, it should be as pleasant and family oriented as possible. But this idea is ludicrous.

What have they been doing to women so far? The cruel and unusual cesarean? The answer is YES. Most women who have c-sections experience them in a very traumatic way for many reasons.

The first problem with the gentle c-section is that all along they have been doing them with cruelty, excessive force, and no thought for the bonding or experience of the mother and family.

(Although, lets be real about this. When the c-section first started being used, it was only used in true EMERGENCY situations. If your baby needs to come out NOW, do you want the doctor to take extra time to make it a better experience? No- you want a baby that is alive. Thus the c-section.)

My guess- doctors were trained to do c-sections in case they were needed. However, things have obviously changed for the worse and they are being done ALL THE TIME when often not needed. So, despite the fact that they could be slower and more gentle, training is training and that is how things are done.

Here enters the natural or humane c-section.

Honestly this is how I see this playing out:

~~~

Scene 1- Mama at Doctor "L's" office for checkup-

Dr L-
"Upon doing your vaginal exam it looks like your pelvis is a little on the small side, and last weeks ultrasound shows that the baby is quite big. It may not be needed, but just so you are not surprised if it happens, there is a good chance you will need a c-section."

Mama-
"Umm what? I was planning on a natural birth. How can you tell already that I need a c-section? And I am really scared of surgery and needles and healing time..."

Dr L-
"What really matters is that you have a healthy baby, right? Anyway- you don't get any gold stars for going natural. After all, epidurals are good for babies.
And as far as the c-section goes, they have really come a long way. I now do "natural" c-sections so you can still have a great birth experience."

Mama-
"How can a cut in my abdomen be "natural"? That just doesn't sound like the normal way for a baby to come out.

Dr L-
"Oh, I'm glad you asked. Now when we do the section we bring the baby out slowly so it can adapt to life outside the womb, just like in a natural birth. And, you get to hold your baby right away (with the hand that isn't strapped down). It is a really pleasant experience."

Mama-
"So I can have a "natural" c-section...... Do your patients like this?"

Dr L-
"Oh yes, it is great for everybody. You still get to pick when you have your baby, but you get the bonuses of a peaceful birth experience without having to go through all that painful labor, just to have that end in a c-section. Truthfully, it is really hard for first time mom's to do it naturally and there is no reason to do it. Why not use the tools available to you? I mean, medicine can't be bad, we invented antibiotics!"

Mama-
"OK, well I will have to think about this. Thanks for preparing me before hand so I could get used to the idea. "

~~~

Once again, obstetrics, ACOG and modern medicine with twist something that could be used well for the few and make it something that everybody wants, that maximizes profit, makes scheduling easier, and continues to undermine and damage women and babies at their most vulnerable.

I want to PUKE. I wish something like this could really just be used in the instances where it was necessary. But remember what else is only rarely needed and yet used all the time....

I will give you the short list:

Pitocin

Epidurals

Inductions

C-sections

Formula

Cutting the VAGINA

Ultrasound

Fetal Monitoring

The powers that be have a horrid track record. It would be a miracle if they don't screw this up too.