Rice Paddy Birth and Other Lies We Tell Pregnant Women
(Photo found here) |
Any pregnant woman has heard about it. The rice paddy birth.
It usually goes something like this:
"We make such a big deal about having babies in this country. Classes, hospitals, pain, blah blah blah. You know in country XYZ, women are working in the rice paddies and they just squat, give birth, pick the baby up and keep on working."
Really? Is there video proof of this?
Actually, to be fair, women have probably done this.
Women ARE strong. Birth IS a natural function. And rice paddy birth is not only possible but has almost definitely happened.
Still, I really don't like the rice paddy birth story. Let me tell you why.
First, it implies that birth is so easy that we could/should just jump back into our regular lives as soon as possible. And I happen to think this is totally bogus. (Did I just make it obvious that I am a born and bred California girl, or what?)
You know what I think the truth is? I think if I asked a woman who had given birth in a rice paddy and kept on working WHY she did that the answer would be kind of sad. I bet she did it because she HAD TO in order TO SURVIVE.
My guess is that women who have to resume work that quickly after giving birth do so out of necessity, not a burning desire to prove their empowerment.
Let me tell you another guess I have about this overworked woman. I bet she is less likely to survive birth and I bet her baby is less likely to survive too.
I have no doubt that a lifestyle filled with exercise, squatting and activity can make birth quicker and easier. I also have no doubt that birth is still hard work, hard on the body, and is designed to have a recovery period.
Some things happen whenever a woman gives birth--
1) She loses blood.
She made extra blood while pregnant so she can handle this loss, but still, blood loss can be exhausting. She will continue to lose blood for weeks. My humble, unprofessional opinion? She should rest until the loss of blood comes to a complete stop and her baby is nursing and growing well.
2) She has a 6-9 pound child come out of her vagina.
I had a friend recently tell me that after having children she felt like a freight train had come out of her crotch. I certainly believe that the female body is amazing and is designed to give birth and all that jazz. I have however actually given birth and I concur with the above statement. To say the very least, things are sore for a while.
3) She must nurture a baby outside of her body.
This requires her to feed constantly a growing child for a little while. The new baby needs mama all the time. Mama must feed this baby constantly and so must also feed herself and stay rested so she can provide adequate care. Being immediately and outrageously active is not necessarily conducive to either healing a body or feeding a baby.
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When I talk to people from other cultures about how they honor the time of birth, I never hear stories about being at Walmart two days post-partum to buy toilet paper. What I do hear are women being taken care of, surrounded with love and family. I hear about special diets, nutritious foods, and limits on when she is allowed to even leave her bed or her baby.
And what I see underlying this reverence and care given to a woman when she has just given birth is also a reverence for birth, for babies and for the real work it is to bring life into the world. A time of recovery and rest after birth is not unusual for women. It shows that people the world over valued this time and saw the importance of taking it seriously so that both mom and baby could survive and thrive.
I see something quite different when Western women are expected to jump right back into their "normal" life as soon as possible after having a baby. I see a culture that doesn't value childbirth or the childbearing time. I see a people who expect women to have even surgery and then be fully functional within days. I see a country that does not recognize or value the real work that is involved in motherhood or birth.
Before you get upset and tell me how FABULOUS you felt after your natural birth, let me say this. I have had natural births too and seen many other women have them. A great birth IS often followed by a period of euphoria and energy. In my experience it lasts a few days.
In my experience though too- if you over-do it in those first few days when you are on your "birth high" you will pay for it later and it can cause your recovery to literally take weeks longer.
So let's stop discounting the work, the energy and yes, even the pain, that can be involved just after giving birth. Instead let's reverence these few weeks and take them to rest, recover, and nurture our babies AND ourselves. I think we could see some incredible improvements in both postpartum female recovery, breastfeeding rates, and even baby contentment.
Birth in peace mama.
And then take a nap.
Comments
It IS tiring and I wish we had more of a "it takes a village" mentality, and I wasn't so separated from my family who would help out when they could.
I do have to say though, I felt much better physically after my last birth than I did with any of my previous births...sure, I was tired, and had to deal with getting my kid off to school and then have a newborn and toddler at home, but it all seemed a little more doable than I had anticipated.
I wish there was more help for new mamas and their families. I admit to being just a little bit jealous of other cultures who revere babies and new mothers.
He quickly shut up.
With my second, I was finishing my last semester of my BA and gave birth the Friday before Thanksgiving Break...missed Mon and Tues of classes, wrote papers over break and was back in school wearing baby the following Monday (so a bit over a week). I was living with my parents and did NOT get to rest or recover like I should have...I'm still tired 4 mos later and having a few postpartum problems (like prolapse) that I think is partially due to me not taking it easy.
But, I did finally graduate after working at it for 10 years YAY!
I think you hit the nail on the head with this one. Also, I've never really understood what's supposed to be empowering about immediately resuming one's work or "normal life" after birth. Acting like nothing happened? That's empowering? I don't buy it.
The symbolic rice-paddy birth is there, just in a little clinic, where poor mothers have no postpartum as soon as they leave. Comparing this to most other mothers is comparing apples to oranges. And it is not a birth or postpartum any woman should have.
We were expected to stay at home until the tenth day, and rest, and most importantly, bond with our babies. We were not expected to stay in bed, as our mothers had been, but it was recognized that we had been through an exhausting and life changing experience, and that we deserved and needed to be cared for during this time. This is one instance where I think things have not changed for the better.
In reality, the only women who ever give birth and return immediately to work are those who are poor, marginalized, or enslaved. It happened to slaves in America, and it happens to the impoverished women in the developing world far too often.
Traditional cultures revere childbirth and give women time to rest and recuperate, often with special treatment and food to help them recover. In rural Thailand, where my mother is from, and other Asian cultures, new mothers are given a special hut with a fire that is always tended, and they are given nourishing soups and teas to ensure milk comes in and their bodies heal. It has nothing to do with being weak or strong, but with how we view labor, birth, and newborns.
What if we supported and allowed each woman to make the best choices for her, rather than pressure to conform? That's what I would ideally like to see, along with a whole lot more eduction about what is actually involved in all the phases of conception, pregnancy, and parenting.
if it is at all possible EVERY mom should have at least a week to have people do all the stuff she normally does while she lays in bed most of the day nursing the baby and reading a book (or what ever she wants).
I shared this on fb, I wish more women wouldn't push their bodies so hard. I just had a friend who is 2 weeks PP say that she has lost 20 lbs since the birth and wants to lose 20 more in the next 2 weeks. The thought of her putting that much stress on her and her body makes me sad. Where are our priorities these days? t
I always have this conversation with Mom in the presence of her spouse and any family that has arrived to help. Then, I explain that the investment in rest in the immediate two postpartum weeks pays off in dividends in the months to come in terms of reduced incidence of postpartum morbidities: pain and/or improper healing of vaginal/perineal lacerations, hemorrhage, uterine prolapse, mastitis, PPD, and failure-to-thrive or slow-gaining newborn. When I explain it this way, it seems like serious business to keep the new mother in bed and resting.
Sadly, some new mothers suffer from lack of necessary rest and recovery when they do not have family who can or will come, or community to pitch in and bring food or assistance so she can rest with her babe. Many do not have the funds to pay a postpartum doula. This is a support network that is sorely lacking in our culture.
I always have this conversation with Mom in the presence of her spouse and any family that has arrived to help. Then, I explain that the investment in rest in the immediate two postpartum weeks pays off in dividends in the months to come in terms of reduced incidence of postpartum morbidities: pain and/or improper healing of vaginal/perineal lacerations, hemorrhage, uterine prolapse, mastitis, PPD, and failure-to-thrive or slow-gaining newborn. When I explain it this way, it seems like serious business to keep the new mother in bed and resting.
Sadly, some new mothers suffer from lack of necessary rest and recovery when they do not have family who can or will come, or community to pitch in and bring food or assistance so she can rest with her babe. Many do not have the funds to pay a postpartum doula. This is a support network that is sorely lacking in our culture.
With my first I had a c-section and it honestly scared her, so she gave me a break. Because of this I wasn't prepared for the pressure she put me under after the vbac with my second. It was constant, we need to go do this and that and acting like I was depriving my older daughter by not getting her out of the house more and at one point, maybe a week post partum?? I found myself at a carnival, standing in the hot sun, bleeding like nobody's business and almost fainted. I had to sit in the grass behind a ride to try to find shade (I was a might surprised how few people were wiling to give up a seat for a woman in obvious distress with a newborn strapped to her chest) My teeny tiny baby was roasting in the sun and we were both miserable and my mom kept telling my older child we could do 'just one more thing' that 'your mama can wait that long'. Like I was being unreasonable. Impatient.
I'm not sure I've EVER been so mad at my mom.
I went grocery shopping, I went to the park. And my recovery was forever long... I became depressed and angry and resentful.
This time around I am determined to take it easy. To prepare as much as possible and make things as easy as I can so that those first few weeks can be about me being home with my beautiful children recovering and adjusting instead of trying to do everything and please everyone.
I am Zimbabwe and we tell our women do and they do.
Aside, they not use tree that would be weak women and Zimbabwe women Strong