4 Crunchy Things That Just Make Me Gag
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I tend to think those things will probably be temporary in my life, and not eternally defining. I mean, if I am still co-sleeping with my kids in 20 years... I just hope somebody puts me out of my misery.
So I am going to make a little different list. This is the crunchy stuff that I just can't wrap my mind around. Please, don't get offended. I am not actually making fun of you in particular.
Unless we know each other in real life, then I guess I could be.
1) Lotus birth- So a true lotus is when the cord is never cut, it and the placenta just stays attached to the baby until it falls off on its own.
I love Sarah Buckley and I think she is some kind of natural birth goddess, but I just can't do this.
The really disgusting thing is that part of the reason why I can't do this is because I would rather eat my placenta. But I digress. (And don't tell me you can lotus and still eat it. My own organ is hard enough to gag down without it having sat around for a few days.)
2) Family cloth- I kid you not, I heard of this online, and it took me a few days to figure out what it was in my head. And when it came to me....good gosh...I almost ripped my tongue out.
No way in heck am I ever washing cloth wipes that my husband used on his bottom. NO WAY. I would cut down a tree and make my own toilet paper before I would go there. (If you are reading this, I am sorry honey. I know my crap stinks too.)
Thank you, but no thanks.
3) No-poo- No, we are not still talking about family bowel movements. There is actually a "no-poo" movement. People in the modern world, are GIVING UP SHAMPOO.
I know. Sacrilege.
I get that some people think that the more you wash your hair the more greasy it gets. That could very well be true. There could even be toxic, brain squashing chemicals in my shampoo. (Pantene, by the way. Don't hate.)
The truth is, I really don't care.
I shower AND wash my hair EVERY DAY. And if I don't get that shower and washed hair, you better watch out. It is sometimes the best part of my day. I love it. It resets everything and makes me feel like a brand, spanking new, human being.
And my hair smells good. That is not something I am willing to give up.
4) Not Yelling-
I hear that not yelling is part of being a good attached parent.
I am not sure though, because I was yelling over my children and I didn't really hear the announcement.
I would actually LIKE to give up yelling, it is just that I am pretty sure that nobody would listen to me if I didn't occasionally use this tool.
I know. I know. I am damaging my kids. Believe me, I KNOW that.
But seriously, if you could spend a day with my two year old and not ever yell, you should just be shot straight to heaven with Mother Theresa and all the rest of the saints, because there isn't room for people like you on earth. You are making me look bad.
Does this no yelling thing apply to husbands too? Because if it does, I am really in trouble.
~/~
If you had started to hate me after reading this post, I will throw in that I do use some weird stone deodorant (doesn't work that well), go to a Chiropractor (my husband, so I get it for "free" if you consider student loans we may never re-pay, "free") and brush my teeth with sawdust. I mean baking soda.So really, I am pretty OK still.
Right? Can we still be friends?
Comments
1. Lotus birth doesn't make me gag. I just don't see the point. I'm with you, I'd rather eat it. And THAT made me gag the first time I heard of it.
2. Meh, I don't think I'd gag, I'm just not that committed to the cause. TP doesn't cost that much and my hub would never go for it.
3. I tried no poo using baking soda and vinegar. It was ok, but I immediately went back to my pooish ways.
4. Ummmmm...not likely to happen.
I am a no'poo devotee and a massive fan of the so fresh and so clean clean smell of apple cider vinegar.
I'm totally vain about my hair and I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't working.
2) Doesn't make me gag, we're just not there yet; because I would expect everyone to rinse their own fecal matter cloth, and that's not happening here.
3) I shower daily, but don't always use commercial shampoo. Baking soda and apple cider vinegar work, are cheaper, and have really long shelf lives, work for cleaning everything from hair and teeth to coffee pots and counters and family cloth, and can be considered food storage. (hint hint nudge nudge.)
4)I grew up in a house with a lot of yelling. I preferred that to the "talking about things" that happened at my aunt's house. It was easier, quicker, I didn't feel so bad ignoring it, and I felt justified in yelling insulting things back. It seems like the louder people get, the lower their IQs, respect, and compassion drop. I actually deeply despise yelling, but my husband equally hates when I turn and walk away from him, or take whichever kid he's yelling away from him, when he starts yelling. I do it sometimes, but feel stupid even while I'm doing it.
So really, I think you're pretty ok still, and that we could probably be friends.
#2 - I use cloth wipes when changing a cloth diaper and disposable wipes when changing disposable diapers. I would totally do "family cloth" but there would be rules: NO poop, only pee. So it would only be me using them because my teen won't and daddy doesn't wipe his pee (I don't think.)
#3 - I mostly no poo, but do wash with baking soda and mix in essential oils for amazing smells. Every month or so I use regular shampoo and my scalp and hair become immediately unmanageable. The longer I go between using regular shampoo the better.
#4 - I'm completely with you.
Can we still be friends?
I prefer to eat my placenta too, such a waste to just let it rot like that. I need my 'poo too. Nothing like a hot relaxing shower at the end of the day to make me feel like a woman again!
Hilarious, thanks for the midnight laugh.
#2 - I can barely handle the cloth wipes and dish towels...there would be no TP in my house if I had to do that.
#3 - I honestly want to try this. I probably wouldn't stick to it...but I'd at least like to try.
#4 - Ughhh. I try not to yell. I don't like yelling. But seriously??
ps -- I still like you. We can still be friends.
I don't know...I don't think no-poo can be in the same article as family cloth. :D
I can't do family cloth unless it becomes absolutely necessary in some apocalyptic way. DH's #2? Uh uh.
But no-poo, I guess I've basically done for a long time b/c I have sensitive skin/hair and hate showering. Your hair really does balance out and feel stronger and nicer. I still shampoo periodically to fit in w/ the modern world's expectations, but it's losing appeal with me.
PS I think you CAN consume placenta w/ a lotus birth...you put the placenta on ice w/ herbs.
Being loud and outgoing is a cultural and personal thing. Being abusive with our words and physical abilities (e.g. how loud we can get or how angry we can appear) is another thing entirely.
But I don't like yelling b/c it quickly turns into an escalating dynamic. Yell louder and louder and louder...like counting to 3. It means the parent and child are still in a combative struggle as opposed to working together as a team.
Here's to being not so crunchy.
The yelling thing made me laugh out loud.
The shampoo thing- I'm so with you on. Hubby just got us a new "natural" shampoo to use: I was so skeptical because I've tried them and my hair never feels clean and always feels kind of filmy and flat.
He got us some Cal Ben shampoo with coconut and almond oils: holy crap that stuff is amazing!!!! My hair (every one in our family, actually) is and feels AMAAAAZING (and DH and dd2 tend to have very greasy weird hair)... Some how this stuff balances it all out. Just saying.
Family paper... Shuddering.
Eating placentas, while it makes a lot of sense... Makes me gag just thinking about it.
Yelling... I try too, but there are times when I'm pretty sure not much else works. I never wanted my parents to be upset as a kid, and it was not often that they were. Same here. Wish I was perfect, but I'm not. BTW, damage can be done with or without yelling and I am pretty sure it can be said vice versa. Try yelling "I love you" and I've made my point.
I yell at the kids, and I'm trying to work on that, but what I find is the more you do it, the less they listen. So I'm working on using a calm tone (generally calms them better) and only raising my voice when it's really serious. Or I'm really exhausted.
Now off to Google "no-poo". On my own, without realizing there was a movement afoot, I have been considering this, and reading all the comments, see that there must be recipes out there for (I'm guessing) washing with baking soda and rinsing with ACV.
1) Can't do. Not because it makes me gag, but I don't see why. I say, once the cord has stopped pulsating - cut it. I'd rather encapsulate it & eat it (though haven't done it yet)
2)no TP would be fine with me,but a no go with the hubby. I use cloth wipes on my 2 year old when he poops, and his poop isn't the wonderful baby poop anymore (IKWIM). So what's the difference, really?
3) No poo. No, because I'm lazy. I don't want to bother making my own shower blend... I shower everyday (it's my zen ritual), but I only wash my hair about once a week (or more). I use a natural shampoo and I'm ok with the ingredients. I can't go back to toxic shampoo - freaks me out and used to make my scalp VERY itchy.
4) I yell. I'm Italian and it's part of your culture. However, I also yell too much when I'm angry - that, I must stop... baby steps ;)
Oh, and on the toothpaste front... I heard that using baking soda everyday is thought to be damaging for the enamel (?)
Yelling. Oh never, why would I EVER yell?? :P I try not too, and yes being gentle and patient and whispering would be wonderful but I have a 13 year old daughter, 10.5 year old (boy), 6 year old daughter and almost 3 year old daughter and sometimes they drive me nuts, either way I never get abusive or mean, just loud and exasperatef. Yes, I AP, yes I birthed them gently, yes I homeschool and babywear, etc etc etc, but I am not the perfect ideal mother earth mama.
I really want to encapsulate my placenta this time but we are back on a student budget. Sigh. I have yet to actually eat my placenta. I would if I HAD too, but being a vegetarian I have a hard time doing it. I do think it's great when people do and I could eat it encapsulated. I just don't know if I can afford it this time around. I don't suffer from PPD and calcium and Polly Block's formula work wonderfully for afterpains so far.
Oh, and I've read the cord/placenta usually comes away in 3 to 4 days if lotus birthing, so not too long, certainly not a week.
Love the others though. Right there with you on the cloth. Yuck. I can do cloth sanpro but I draw the line at cloth toilet wipes :/
I cant do no shampoo, but me & my girls use only eco shampoo, no parabens or SLS, and actualy, my youngest has curly hair and only gets shampood maybe once a month if that, her hair doesnt need it. Mine gets shampood every two or three days usually.
I'd love to yell less, but that'd require some co operation on the kids' parts lol.
I have toyed with the idea of family cloth, but only for me and only for pee. I use cloth wipes for babies, but I couldn't handle something that my husband wiped his hairy butt with. Ew.
No-poo is intriguing and I want to try it. I've switched to natural shampoos and have seen a really big difference, especially with my sensitive skin. No-poo is the next step.
Yelling...that's a tought one. It's definitely something I want to improve on. I'm very loud.
Also - family cloth...I have an upcoming post about this. Toilet paper is the only paper product we use and I think I have good reasons.
Now, I'm an unassisted birther and everyone seemed to assume I did the lotus birth thing and it was hard for me to not go, "Oh my god,ew...no!" because there were people who seemed to think this was super cool and I didn't want to offend them.
Oh...and I yell a lot. I also swear a great deal.
After becoming disenchanted with the whole double application of chemicals and greasy hair the next day thing, that you get with adhering to the shampoo and conditioner obsession, I tried Castile soap for a while, but it didn't quite work. Then I found No-poo! We all use baking soda for hair and body, and now it's soft hair and skin, no conditioner necessary... you just have to wait out the transition with patience while your natural-oil-production adjusts to not being constantly stripped. And make sure to brush you hair each day so the oils get properly distributed.
I wouldn't do the full lotus thing - not just the inconvenience, but I'm not convinced that it's either a physical or spiritual ideal. Let it stop pulsing and cut it, and this time around (baby #3 in March) we're going to try the dry and encapsulate thing if we can figure out how to do it.
With you on the yelling, too. No name-calling or put-downs... they're just so loud, sometimes I don't have any other way to get them to know I'm going into sensory overload.
Still friends? You bet. I say: 1) Be real about how you think and feel, and 2) Be down with the agree-to-disagree thing. That's my definition of eternal friendship, so I think we're good. :)
2. I've done 'Family cloth' though it was only myself & DD. If there was older children or other adults involved I would expect them to rinse their own cloths off. I would just throw all used cloths straight into the washing machine as I would also any cloth nappies & other cloth wipes then set the machine to wash them every day or other day! No fuss & the cloth feels great to use :D
3. I un-poo with bicarb & vinegar. My DD only has water on her hair. I have washed my hair with commercial shampoo once in the past 3 years. There was definitely a transition period of a month or so! Now I use water most days & bicarb/vinegar a couple times a week is all. My hair now looks & smells great!
4. Yelling or not yelling doesn't make me gag. When I do yell in impatience, frustration, anger, whatever I will also talk to my DD about what brought out the yelling. Yelling in playing is another thing ;)
eightdaysaweekmom.blogspot.com
1. Not only do I not Lotus Birth, I don't eat my placenta... but now I am intrigued as someone in the comments said it helped with the after pains. I must research this!
2. We do family cloth... it just made sense as we do cloth everything else. My husband and my 11 year old son just use the diaper sprayer and wash off their cloth wipes immediately, then place in the wetbag. If they didn't, I would just do it. Poop doesn't bother me... we keep a roll of TP for guests though.
3. I actually want to try no-poo. My mom did and has had amazing results.
4. Not yelling it not going to happen in my house. I try not to yell, I really do, but with four boys... someone is getting yelled at!
~Karli
I've done cloth wipes and mama cloth...never considered family cloth.
I tried the no-poo thing, but went back to shampoo. I use the volumizing stuff from Melaleuca...I love their cleaning products they work MUCH better than the vinegar and baking soda with lemon I used to use. Also pretty cheap.
I wish to someday control my anger and frustration enough to quit yelling. hahaha!
Julie
2. I do family cloth, except my hubby doesn't join in so it's just me and the kid (ha!). But I have reasons: after a tear through the rectum things just don't, uh, wipe up easily so I need something stronger than TP. That being said, I also spray off with a peri-bottle (bidet in a bottle! yeah!) so rarely is there ever excrement actually on the cloths. And on DD - TP gets stuck in her little girl parts and that just bothers me to no end.
3. Love being no-poo, but I also have a pixie cut so it's extremely easy. I don't know what it would be like with long hair.
4. Nothing wrong with being loud, but my temptation is to be angry and unkind in my yelling (which was my example) so I try not to...Nothing good comes from yelling for me (which doesn't mean I don't ever yell).
i tried to convince my family to use family cloth, but dh was like "hell no!" lol
i also love to shampoo my hair. but i only do it 3 times a week. so partial poo? LOL
and i yell. i am working on it, but i still do it.
so yeah, i think we could be friends. LOL
I'd never do a lotus birth because I'm so sold on the benefits of placenta encapsulation (or however you want to ingest it).
I'd do family cloth for #1, I'd do no-poo if it worked for me (but it doesn't) and I'd yell if I reached that point, but I'm not a yelling person so it doesn't really come up... yet... I do only have one child so far.
I love this post because I appreciate bloggers who admit less-than-perfect status and who don't really like the word crunchy, or the "crunchy accomplishments list" either... Probs because I feel the same :)
Lotus birth - I love the concept, but I do prefer encapsulating. We did a "partial lotus" with my last babe--which for us meant we didn't cut the cord for about two or three hours.
And just for the record--"no-poo" does NOT mean not washing your hair! It just means not using commercial shampoo to do so! ;)
Maybe check out the EWG's list of toxins in beauty products. Just sayin' ;)
Family cloth, ehh. I do hate buying toilet paper, and I already wash cloth diapers, which I think gets you a lot more close-and-personal with poo than family cloth ever would. But whatever.
No yelling? THAT, I am 100% on board with. I am an advocate for nonviolent parenting as often as i can be. But i don't think there's anyone out there who's never yelled. Bad habits are hard to break.
Going without shampoo isn't much of a big deal at all! My hair is actually nicer than it ever was before, and I don't have to wash it every day like I did when I was shampooing it. :)