"What Really Matters Is A Healthy Baby..."
"The important thing is that you have a healthy baby....not the birth experience" is a phrase that mamas desiring a natural or home birth often hear. It is often followed by a dismissive, "You don't get any gold stars for having a natural birth anyway" type comment.
I will be the first to admit that there is a lot of truth in this statement. In fact, I do believe that the most important thing from a birth is a healthy and happy baby. But there are some ugly misconceptions that lie behind what appears to be a pro-baby statement.
-A healthy baby is somehow separate from a healthy and happy mother-
This is rarely the case. The truth is that in fact a healthy and happy mother make for a happier and healthier baby. Those that dismiss the mothers experience in the birth process forget that she has the baby within her AND that she will be the person providing the bulk of the care and love in the babies early days and months.
Do we really believe that the birth experience has absolutely nothing to do with the first moments of life? Is it actually separate from the health of the baby? Will a mother who feels violated and abused by her birth experience really be able to give all her positive energy to this new dependent life, who was in fact a player in the birth?
We are human, and so we will overcome a traumatic birth to bond with our young and love and care for them. But to think that a negative birth experience does not harm both mother AND baby is both ridiculous and shows a complete lack of knowledge about the postpartum period and the role of euphoric hormones in the birth process. (Check out some of the work by Sarah Buckley on this subject.)
Mothers and babies are by nature and spirit BOUND to one another. They are not separate beings.
- Babies are unaffected by drugs and interventions in labor-
This statement is a bunch of crap. Yes- it really is. Obviously drugs and other interventions are sometimes necessary to ensure a healthy baby. The fact that something is sometimes needed however, does not mean that its common and excessive use has no negative side effects on those who DIDN'T need it. (Think 32% c-section rate or Pitocin- lifesaving sometimes but used in almost every labor, or epidurals, the list goes on...)
Lets take a look at the drug Pitocin. It is a drug that certainly has a place in obstetrics and has surely saved lives. Yet it is so commonly used that we must wonder what it can do when NOT needed. (Should you be interested you can find many interesting known side effects of common drugs here.
From the package insert:
"Because of maternal and fetal risks, oxytocin must be administered with caution . It has been reported to cause fetal bradycardia, neonatal retinal hemorrhage, and neonatal jaundice, in addition to maternal effects . Fetal deaths due to various causes have reportedly been associated with the parenteral use of oxytocics for induction or augmentation of labor . Excessive dosage or administration of oxytocin to hypersensitive patients may cause uterine hypertonicity with spasm and tetanic contraction or uterine rupture . Abruptio placentae, impaired uterine blood flow, amniotic fluid embolism, and fetal trauma including cardiac arrhythmias, intracranial hemorrhage, and asphyxia may occur as a result . Oxytocin may inhibit, rather than promote, expulsion of the placenta and increase the risk of hemorrhage and infection."
-The baby is alive, therefore it is fine.-It is obvious that this drug, though sometimes necessary, has many possible negative side effects, not just on the mother, but on the baby. We must stop pretending that a highly intervened with birth is just fine. It is not.
This isn't often said, but the idea that what really matters is a healthy baby implies it. A woman can have a birth experience that is traumatic for both her and her baby. She can have her wishes and self respect ignored. She can have a forced, managed, c-section birth and a baby that refuses to nurse and spends two days in the NICU. And yet the statement will be heard ringing from every hill, "what matters is the healthy baby". What they are really saying is that the baby is alive and that is all that matters.
Probably any mother would tell you (from an unassisted birther to a planned c-section mama) that in fact what really matters to her IS a healthy baby. There is however a difference between a live baby and a healthy thriving baby that will reach it's full potential.
Medicine and medical studies tend to look at things in absolute and measurable ways. So, when we look at outcomes we are looking for simply live babies or dead babies. The vast majority of mothers and babies survive childbirth today, no matter how many interventions were thrown at them or how many drugs were pumped into their systems.
Let us not forget though that we are dealing with babies. They are not born with their brains completely developed. Much of this further development will continue in the first year and will not be measurable for many years to come.
You can not tell at birth if a baby will have ADD, autism, reading problems, mild learning disabilities or other developmental disorders. These things are subtle and can take years to show up. And, even when they do occur, because of the literally millions of things that contribute to a whole person, it can be virtually impossible to pinpoint what caused the problem in the first place, especially if it happened during the birth process.
Are all of these risks proven? No, but we must ask ourselves if the benefits of exposing our babies to these drugs (especially unnecessarily) outweighs possible risk.
In the end...
When it all comes down to it I would trade a good birth experience for me for a healthy baby any day of the week. I would rather have a baby that was alive than dead and if a surgical birth was needed, then that is just sometimes how it goes.
What really matters IS a healthy, live baby. I don't think any natural birth proponent would ever argue differently.
The two deepest problems with the dismissal of the birth experience are these:
1) We dismiss the mother as nothing more than a vessel-
Mothers are an integral part of the birth process and what they experience has a profound effect on the baby weather it be medication, stress, or disrespect.
2) We dismiss the inherently natural aspect of the birthing process as useless-
In truth, a more natural peaceful birth can have a euphoric and climactic experience and is probably what NORMAL birth should be.
Mothers who choose natural birth do not do so out of selfishness. Women do not attempt home birth because they only care about their own experience. Women choose natural birth because natural birth is often the best and healthiest birth for mother AND baby.
Let us birth our babies in peace and remember that this is what will render us the healthiest baby- because that is what really matters.
Comments
It was because I was so frightend by the hospital and the drugs and the effects it would have on my baby.
I fed myself with all the readings about how 'bad' the hospital was and you know what it saved my life, but it did not save my babies life.
Just wanted to share for all you mothers or mothers to be out there that as scary as the hospital can be (which actually all the people in there gave me a lot of love and support) the true art of surrendering is letting go of the outcome. I was a c-section baby and I am ok.
My first child's birth was traumatic, and resulted in a hospital transfer after his birth and a 5 day stay in SCBU, with follow up MRI and regular checkups. Thankfully he is now a normal healthy 2 year old with no developmental issues that we can see at the moment.
I did get that phrase too "at least he's fine" and I don't really think anyone really asked me how *I* was after his birth - or at least I can't remember it.
With my second I was terrified of the same happening again, or worse! At one point in the labour my husband asked me if I'd felt him move, and when I couldn't make him move, I was in tears and absolutely terrified he had already died and that nothing would be able to save him. I had a hospital induced labour, waters broken artificially but then no more interventions, and he was born pink, he cried within seconds, we got skin-to-skin. My first and foremost wish was that my baby would be well enough to not spend any time in SCBU, and thankfully I was granted that wish.
After my second son's birth I feel like a weight has been lifted. I bonded immediately and well with my second son, I had no postnatal depression, and my overall health was far better than with my firstborn. I completely agree that while the health of the baby is always the most important thing, the way in which the baby arrives is of great importance too.
But at the end of the day, my firstborn is alive, he is healthy, and I have recovered from his birth emotionally and physically.
Ashling, I am so very sorry for your loss! I cannot imagine and my heart truly goes out to you and your family!
A healthy baby needs to be balanced with a healthy mother. The needs of one shouldn't overshadow the need of the other that the other ceases to matter.
I wish I had had a c-section, because I think my life would be a lot easier. I had placental abruption in the last few dregs of labor and it caused severe brain damage for my baby due to the lack of oxygen. I got my vaginal birth, sure, but I have a handicapped baby to show for it.
So for those that had c-sections and are all upset even though they have a perfectly healthy baby, I say get over yourselves. That's meant to be blunt, not rude. You will eventually come to terms with the fact that your birth didn't go quite the way you wanted, but that baby of yours doesn't have to have years of therapy and special programs and a life expectancy of 12. You should consider yourself lucky instead.
But I may just have that outlook because I almost lost my baby. I was heavily considering homebirth but since there are no midwives in my area, I went with an OB instead. If I would have birthed at home, my baby would be dead, even though we only live 10 minutes away. The hospital saved his life.
I've had two good, natural birth experiences - both in a small hospital known locally for it's support of natural childbirth.
I don't want to completely diminish the importance of the birth experience, because yeah, it is important. But as the mother of a child who was born very sickly and who will have serious health concerns for the rest of her life... I would trade my good experiences for the worst experiences if it would heal my daughter. Unfortunately not an option any of us actually have, but I do think mothers should keep it in mind when they feel fearful of the hospital.
I will say that my good birth experience did put me in an excellent position when I had to immediately begin spending long days at the NICU while still caring for my son in the evening. And I am so grateful that there were no interventions in the birth that could have complicated things down the road. I have regrets in parenthood, fortunately birth is not one of them.
Please keep in mind that cesareans do not always result in healthier babies and do cause many more complications for mothers. My cesarean babies are healthy and were well when delivered, but I have had grave complications including a complete bladder reconstruction from the surgeries.
I don't have a lot of getting over myself to do, I'm a pretty humble Mama, but I do think a healthy Mama matters, and that cesarean delivery did not improve my babies health.
This surgery is vastly overused in the US. It is a great lifesaver in some cases, but it increases maternal mortality greatly and should be reserved for prudent cases only.