ACOG SUCKS, and I Hate Them

"ACOG encourages all pregnant women to get prenatal care and to make a birth plan. The main goal should be a healthy and safe outcome for both mother and baby. Choosing to deliver a baby at home, however, is to place the process of giving birth over the goal of having a healthy baby."
From ACOG Statement on Home Birth 

This is from the last paragraph from a statement about home birth issued by The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, also known as ACOG.  I have to admit that sitting here at my computer, just hearing those four little letters together, A C O G..... it causes me to feel a very deep and primal burning emotion of pure hatred.  

Am I crazy!  I hate them, I really do.  I don't even know "them".  Are "they" even a person?  Maybe on an individual basis "they" are nice people.  Maybe I would enjoy a dinner party with some of "them" (if the subjects did not ever touch on my personal passions that is.)  I know that these feelings are totally irrational and probably make me sound just a tiny bit nuts.  But there it is.  


Maybe I should forgive them and move on.  Maybe not...


They want me to get prenatal care.  I think prenatal care is pretty nice.  I get some of it.  It was interesting though that with my last birth, with a midwife (CPM) I was able to opt out of almost every test and yet-  still had a perfectly healthy baby!  Is it possible?  Can you have a normal baby without the glucose test?  Without an AIDS test?  Without an ULTRASOUND (gasp, no- double gasp!).  Yes folks, it can be done.  My normal baby without all this "prenatal care"  (IE money making, fear mongering, catering to the lowest common denominator and ignoring evidence based care) is just fine!


They want me to make a birth plan.  Well, that is sure nice of them, isn't it?  Well golly gee, thanks daddy for 'letting' me plan my birth!  Thanks for 'letting' me have an opinion about my body, my baby and this life altering event.   I know that you will actually ignore it and try to frighten me with lies, but hey, at least it is in your file, right?  It made me feel comfortable and safe with you when I should have been running for the hills.


They want me and my baby to have a healthy and safe outcome.  Hey, we are on the same page with that one right?  They know that 30% of mothers "need" a c-section to have a safe birth.  They know that I will "need" pitocin to get my baby out in a timely manner.  They know that cytotec is safe for the pregnant woman even though the FDA has not approved it for that.  They know that attaching a vacuum to a babies head and pulling with all their might is perfectly healthy and safe.  


They think that having a baby at home is valuing the process more than the outcome.  Really?  They can read my thoughts?  They know that I actually do not care one whit for my baby?  No, not me, all I care about is the "experience".  Yes, I chose a home birth because I thought it would feel really great.  I thought it would make a great story.  I wanted bragging rights with all my friends.  "Oh yeah, I had a home birth.  Just like Riki Lake."  


I know something "they" do not know.

I know I researched this.  I know I studied.  I know I exercised and ate properly and practiced and prepared myself for this experience.  I know that as a trained natural birth mother I probably know more about normal birth than most members of ACOG.  I know what is best for me and my baby.  I can feel it.  


How can anybody else know what is right for me, except me?  How can anybody accuse me of valuing an experience over this precious child?  I chose this "experience" because I knew it would be the safest and best experience for us.  If I felt differently I would have chosen differently.